TIME magazine did a cover story on “How Your Love Life Keeps You Healthy.” not too long ago. In its lead article it said:
Physical contact – the feeling of skin on skin… is one of the most precious, priceless things Homo Sapiens can offer one another
Human beings are wired in the brain to nurture, be sensual, and sexual. Couples that have this interaction are happier and live longer. The article, citing quality research studies, and there is a ton of it out there, states that “not only does the relationship benefit from a steady sex life, but so can the physical and emotional health of the partners themselves.”
Studies are showing that arousal and an active sex life may
lead to a longer life, better heart health, an improved ability
to ward off pain, a more robust immune system, and even
better protection against certain cancers, not to mention, lower
rates of depression
The emphasis here is on sensuality and sexuality shared in a loving relationship where two people are intimate. To be intimate one must be vulnerable and safe in the other’s presence. Too often individual partners do not have that bond and, therefore, avoid sensual contact.
I invite couples to go to bed together at the same time, without clothes on, and snuggle. Initially, excuses abound but later most gleefully comply. Some excuses:
- We would have to move the dog/cat/child between us (life is about choices based on priorities)
- We go to bed at different times (that’s a tough one to change isn’t it)
- S/he snores (white noise to the rescue)
- I’m self conscious about my body (candle light only if you can’t get over it)
- I’m too old for that nonsense (bah, humbug to life)
- I’d rather have Haagen Das (you can have both)
- I’m afraid I can’t perform (the blue pill and therapy can fit that)
- My partner has poor hygiene (suggest showering together)
- I don’t want to throw my back out (let your partner do the work)
- My partner doesn’t know how/where to touch me so that it feels good (communication might help)
- I don’t want to be rejected (fix the relationship, find a mutually satisfying time)
- The kids might get suspicious (they might find out that you love each other)
- Sex is only for procreation; anything else makes me feel guilty (see a therapist)
- My vibrator is sufficient (do you snuggle with it, too?)
- I have limited libido (there are ways to ramp it up)
- I’m too tired (get more rest and get re-vitalized)
- I don’t love my partner anymore. I’ll just continue to co-exist with my partner. (now that’s a depressing choice. Other options might well be better)
- I need my nighty/boxer shorts on to sleep (put back on after love-making)
- Your own unique one
The bottom line here is: are you are maximizing your ability and opportunity to be sensually connected with your partner? We do need to give and receive loving touch to be healthy and thrive!
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates”
Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com. Book: “A Successful Life – Guaranteed!” on Amazon.
Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com
