They are doing an awesome job of raising these gals with manners, morals, and mental stimulation. Proud of them. Sherry and I are committed to being the best grandparents possible. Thus, I decided we needed to follow some “rules”. They follow.
- Support your kids raising their kids. The grandkids are not your kids.
- Don’t give advice unless asked for by the parents.
- Learn how to connect with your grandchildren. Be a positive influence, without usurping the authority of the parents.
- Be there when needed when possible, but do not impose. Do not be “used” by parents who abdicate their responsibility.
- Don’t spoil the kids. Stay within the parameters of behavior/discipline/consequences established by their parents.
- Learn when to keep your mouth shut. Certain comments or observations are unnecessary and create bad feelings.
- You are not the only grandparents. Sharing and balance are needed with the other grandparents and members of the “extended” family.
- Work through and with the parents – not around them.
- Be familiar with the parents’ priorities involving safety, health, feeding, discipline, hygiene, etc… and reinforce their desires through your actions.
- Love ‘em with all your heart!
Many items on this list have come from parents who have been frustrated by grandparents who don’t follow such “rules”. This is not an exhaustive list, but a darn good starting point.
I know that I have fond memories of three of my four grandparents and am grateful for the way they welcomed and loved me. Good memories. May you grandparents provide the same for your grandkids. You will reap the benefits, be in harmony with your children, and be additive to the kiddos lives!
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates
Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com. Book: “A Successful Life – Guaranteed!” on Amazon.